Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, August 18, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Murphy's Horse Laws
1. If you do a thorough check of your trailer before hauling, your truck will break down.
2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
3. No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
4. The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
5. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
6. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be destroyed; horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
7. Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.
8. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you did. If you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.
9. One horse isn't enough; two is too many.
10. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes," you will get dirty.
11. You can't push a horse on a lunge line.
12. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he isn't $2,500.
13. The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls in your barn.
14. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
15. You can't run a barn without baling twine.
16. Hoof picks migrate.
17. Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your hat fits.
18. There is no such thing as the "right feed."
19. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
20. If you're winning, quit.
~ author unknown
2. There is no such thing as a sterile barn cat.
3. No one ever notices how you ride until you fall off.
4. The least useful horse in your barn will eat the most, require shoes every four weeks and need the vet at least once a month.
5. A horse's misbehavior will be in direct proportion to the number of people who are watching.
6. Tack you hate never wears out; blankets you hate cannot be destroyed; horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
7. Clipper blades will become dull only when the horse is half finished. Clipper motors will quit only when you have the horse's head left to trim.
8. If you're wondering if you left the water on in the barn, you did. If you're wondering if you latched the pasture gate, you didn't.
9. One horse isn't enough; two is too many.
10. If you approach within 50 feet of the barn in your "street clothes," you will get dirty.
11. You can't push a horse on a lunge line.
12. If a horse is advertised "under $5,000," you can bet he isn't $2,500.
13. The number of horses you own increases according to the number of stalls in your barn.
14. An uncomplicated horse can be ruined with enough schooling.
15. You can't run a barn without baling twine.
16. Hoof picks migrate.
17. Wind velocity increases in direct proportion to how well your hat fits.
18. There is no such thing as the "right feed."
19. If you fall off, you will land on the site of your most recent injury.
20. If you're winning, quit.
~ author unknown
Monday, March 3, 2008
Thursday, October 18, 2007
How many horses does it take to change a light bulb?
* Thoroughbred: Who ME?? Do WHAT? I'm scared of light bulbs! I'm outta here!
* Arabian: I changed it an hour ago. C'mon you guys - catch up!
* Quarter Horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.
* Standardbred: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the darn bulb and let's be done with it.
* Shetland: Give it to me. I'll kill it and we won't have to worry about it anymore.
* Friesian: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all this mane.
* Belgian: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.
* Warmblood: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the TB get back here and do it.
* Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! I'll rewire the barn after, too.
* Appaloosa: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that darn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him.
* Haflinger: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?
* Mustang: Lightbulb? Let's go on a trail ride, instead. And camp. Out in the open like REAL horses.
* Lipizzaner: Hah, amateurs. I will change the lightbulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn't think so.
* Miniature: I bet you think I can't do it just cause I'm small. You know what that is? It's sizeism!
* Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it's my owner's lightbulb and no one else has ever touched it.
* Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the lightbulb to my personal groom after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle, but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.
* Cleveland Bay: I'm busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.
* Saddlebred: My ears are up already, please, please get the lightbulb away from me! I'm ready to show, really, I promise I'll win!
* Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.
* POA: I'm not changing it. I'm the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now, excuse me, I have a grain room to break into.
* Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and changed it while you were all arguing.
~ author unknown
* Arabian: I changed it an hour ago. C'mon you guys - catch up!
* Quarter Horse: Put all the bulbs in a pen and tell me which one you want.
* Standardbred: Oh for Pete's Sake, give me the darn bulb and let's be done with it.
* Shetland: Give it to me. I'll kill it and we won't have to worry about it anymore.
* Friesian: I would, but I can't see where I'm going from behind all this mane.
* Belgian: Put the Shetland on my back, maybe he can reach it then.
* Warmblood: Is the 2nd Level Instruction Packet in English? Doesn't anyone realize that I was sold for $75K as a yearling, but only because my hocks are bad, otherwise I would be worth $100K? I am NOT changing lightbulbs. Make the TB get back here and do it.
* Morgan: Me! Me! Me! Pleeease let me! I wanna do it! I'm gonna do it! I know how, really I do! Just watch! I'll rewire the barn after, too.
* Appaloosa: Ya'll are a bunch of losers. We don't need to change the lightbulb, I ain't scared of the dark. And someone make that darn Morgan stop jumping up and down before I double barrel him.
* Haflinger: That thing I ate was a lightbulb?
* Mustang: Lightbulb? Let's go on a trail ride, instead. And camp. Out in the open like REAL horses.
* Lipizzaner: Hah, amateurs. I will change the lightbulb. Not only that, but I will do it while standing on my hind legs and balancing it on my nose, after which I will perform seven flying lead changes in a row and a capriole. Can you do that? Huh? Huh? Didn't think so.
* Miniature: I bet you think I can't do it just cause I'm small. You know what that is? It's sizeism!
* Akhal Teke: I will only change it if it's my owner's lightbulb and no one else has ever touched it.
* Andalusian: I will delegate the changing of the lightbulb to my personal groom after he finishes shampooing my mane and cleaning my saddle, but only on the condition that it is changed for a soft blue or green bulb, which reflects better off my coat while I exhibit my astonishing gaits.
* Cleveland Bay: I'm busy. Make the whipper-in and the hounds do it.
* Saddlebred: My ears are up already, please, please get the lightbulb away from me! I'm ready to show, really, I promise I'll win!
* Paint: Put all the lightbulbs in a pen, tell me which one you want, and my owner will bet you twenty bucks I can get it before the quarter horse.
* POA: I'm not changing it. I'm the one who kicked the old one and broke it in the first place, remember? Now, excuse me, I have a grain room to break into.
* Grade Horse: Guys? Um, guys? I hope you don't mind, but I went ahead and changed it while you were all arguing.
~ author unknown
Friday, October 5, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Funny horse photo!
I think this horse might be mad at the cow it's cutting
http://www.pbase.com/jimthode/image/85726419
http://www.pbase.com/jimthode/image/85726419
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
